A Lyrically disappointing sonic snooze fest

Review Score:

C-

April 19 / 2024 –

I’m not sure how we got here. Taylor Swift, somewhere along the way, became the default celebrity. And more power to her, I guess. She has released some of the most iconic country and pop music of the 21th century. But his album is perplexing to say the least. My initial concern was sparked by the tracklist, the names of which were instantly worrying removed from the context of the album. The album leaked on April 18th, Twitter went into a frenzy, and search engines and social media sites rushed to block the links. But after the dust cleared, what are we actually left with?

Well…a pretty confusing project. There is a wide range in quality across the 16 tracks contained on THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (yes, all caps). The highs (or really singular high, “loml”) is a touching, beautiful song. But the lows are in Dante’s 9th layer of hell. Most tracks fall somewhere in the middle. TTPD contains some of Swift’s worst lyricism to date. And in the worst cases, it’s paired with some of Jack Antonoff’s dullest production yet.

If I close my eyes and try to ignore the context of it all, I can let this album wash over me. But that’s the best case scenario. Because lyrically, Taylor Swift is writing as if she’s got imposter syndrome. With deliveries like “sanctimoniously performing soliloquies”, it often sounds like the really Taylor Swift died and her team found a lookalike who’s frantically flipping through a thesaurus to fill impossible shoes. On Folklore and Evermore, Swift painted elaborate tales from unique character perspectives. The words seemed to flow with grace. But on The Tortured Poets Department, she comes across as very…millennial. Not all lines read like as a garbled mouthful. Others feel more “how do you do fellow kids?”. Take, for example, “Down Bad”.

“Now I’m down bad, crying at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
F—k it if I cant have him.
I might just die it would make no difference.
Down bad waking up in blood“

Not every song falls flat. “loml” is a gorgeous piano ballad. Here, Swift and Antonoff demonstrate that less is more. But this song feels wasted on this record. Because the following song sounds like a Katy Perry cut, with the (hopefully) intentionally obtuse hook “I’m so depressed I act like it’s my birthday every day”.

I wasn’t initially bothered by the production on this record. But subsequent listens gave me pause. Midnights was not as musically coherent as I had hoped it would be based on the teaser imagery (rumors swirled that it would be very 70s inspired). Swift’s earlier attempt at a pair of genre records (Folklore/Evermore) went over well – and with Antonoff at the helm no less. But on further listens, THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT is lacking. I am generally a fan of Jack’s work. While there’s a case to be made for the homogenization of the artists he works with, I do think under the right circumstances he can elevate an artist. Lana Del Rey’s Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd is a good example, as is the 1975’s last record. TTPD is not.

This is all pretty standard Swift/Antonoff fair. There were several moments in which I thought something interesting was about to happen, only for the song to take a very predictable turn. “Guilty as Sin?” opens with a muted, simple drum machine snare/kick beat. This is new, I thought. But then that percussion switches to an acoustic drum kit on the chorus and is shoved back into the mix of Swift self harmonies and I’m bored again. “Guilty as Sin?” isn’t even a bad song, by any stretch. I was merely bored. Such is the case with most of TTPD.

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Sometimes, when someone gets very rich and very famous, they lose touch with reality. Few are more rich and more famous in 2024 as Swift. Her current relationship is experienced from across the country via private jet. She was Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year”. She just spent the past 2 years on a world tour that has boosted the economy by a staggering amount. She does not live a normal life anymore. And so all of Taylor Swift’s down-to-earth, small town girl-isms suddenly feel very disingenuous.

Swift has gone on record in complaint of the way she’s treated in the media. And to be fair, she does receive some unfair criticism. Anyone with that level of popularity is going to catch some flack. But you don’t get to have it both ways, unfortunately. You don’t get to make a living marketing your relationships and perpetuating rumors and also get upset when fans pry or jump to conclusions. Taylor Swift has a strange relationship with her “Swifties”. And to a degree, I do feel sorry for her. Fame is unnatural and nobody should have to live their life the way she does. But that pity only stretches so far. Because from the carbon emissions to her monopoly of the vinyl industry, I find it hard to relate to see her in a relatable light anymore. Or even a positive one. She comes across as a woman who’s been at the forefront of celebrity for too long. It’s like John Mulaney says in his famous bit about Mick Jagger: “he’s played to stadiums of 20,000 people cheering for him like he’s a god for 50 years. That must change you as a person.” She portrays herself as a force for good, but remains silent on a genocide while she wields her small army of fans as a weapon against her enemies and past lovers. There’s a cognitive dissonance inherent to the Taylor Swift fan experience, and one that lingers uncomfortably with me as someone on the fringes of that fandom.

This album is a step above Midnights, but I’m not sure by how much. It has more to say and is more musically adventurous – but barely. I became a fan around the Folklore/Evermore era. It was then that I realized that she had a clear knack for storytelling. Those albums were free of contextual relationship Reddit thread drama (at least in my world) because of their character-based perspectives. It was a simpler time. And most importantly, those albums surprised me. The only surprises on THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT are the ways in which Swift and Antonoff can cram ill fitting lyrics into another generic, downbeat, synth-driven pop song. Maybe I would be happier with this if I knew less about Taylor Swift. But if that’s the intended album experience, then who is this for?

Review Score:

C-

Gubb wrote this review. You can’t get mad at Gubb.