How to make dance music boring

Review Score:

C+

June 7 / 2025 –

When I sat down to listen to this Addison Rae album, I was already forming an analogy in my head. It would be like going to McDonalds, but it’s 2 AM and I’m drunk. I know what I’m in for, but the level of quality required to impress me is far lower than it would normally be.

But imagine if you’re sitting at that McDonalds, waiting on your order, forehead pressed against a greasy table while you try and forget about the growing headache, and you finally bite into that first chicken nugget to find that it’s cold.

Look, no shade to Addison Rae. If I looked like that, I’d ride that wave forever. And I’ll give her credit where it’s due. This could be way worse. This is far more interesting than a lot of TikTok/social media personality music. B

But every song on this album sounds like, and stay with me here, a half-baked version of a low-tier Taylor Swift song’s bridge. I know that’s very specific. But a lot of these songs really do feel like build up with no payoff. Or, when there is payoff, it’s unsatisfying.

This is a fairly short album. It’s 12 tracks, but just a little over half an hour long. And it still overstays its welcome. The latter half is far stronger than the first half. And the reason I say that is because I remember listening to that part. Seven of the first eight songs had me wanting to crawl into bed and go to sleep. It wasn’t until “Fame is a Gun” that I heard something I thought was musically interesting. As I typed that sentence, I thought to myself, “have I heard that song title somewhere before?” And the answer is no, but I was thinking of “Sympathy is a knife” off of brat. This speaks to the clear…influence…that she’s clearly taken from Charli xcx. This makes sense. They’ve collaborated. She’s performed with her live, I think. But this bordering on the Gretta Van Fleet thing, to a lesser degree. A lot of people are making dance pop right now. Not a lot of people were doing the exact sound Led Zeppelin pioneered when Gretta Van Fleet came around.

Oddly, the song that stood out to me the most is one I had previously written off, the single “Diet Pepsi”. It’s aptly named. It sounds how actual Diet Pepsi tastes. But I also feel a twinge of guilt when I listen to it, like how I know drinking Diet Pepsi is still rotting my teeth even though they replaced the sugar with another chemical we’ve arbitrarily decided is somehow better for us.

“Fame is a Gun” was the first song that snapped me out of my sleep state when I listened to this the first time. The song itself is relatively catchy, but parts of it feel sloppy. Transitions between verse and chorus are just not quite right. However, the real head-turning element of this song for me was the vocal effects that made Addison Rae sound like Sufjan Stevens, which I found oddly satisfying.

“Headphones On” is a fairly strong finish to the album. The instrumentals are solid. I like the atmosphere of this one, even if the lyrics sound like they were written by pre-edgy reboot JoJo Siwa.

Look, we all know what this is. I don’t feel like I need to spell it out. It’s really a perfectly serviceable debut album. But I don’t think we’re gonna be having Addison summer.

Also, bad album cover.

Review Score:

C+

Gubb wrote this review. You can’t get mad at Gubb.